Jokes

Why do scuba divers fall backwards off the boat?
If they fell foward, they’d still be in the boat.

Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they’re extinct.

Where do generals keep their armies?
In their sleeves.

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.

Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the calendar factory?
He too too many days off.

How do you think the unthinkable?
With an itheberg.

What animal can jump higher than a house?
All of them… houses can’t jump.

What’s grey and can’t swim?
A castle.

What’s yellow and hurts when it gets in your eye?
A bulldozer.

What’s white and can’t climb a tree?
A refrigerator.

What’s red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.

What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.

Why did the cowboy get a dachshund?
He wanted to get a long, little doggy.

What do you call a dog with no legs?
Anything you want, it’s not coming.


Jokes Submitted by Applicants:

If anyone needs and ark, I Noah guy.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
A broken pencil.
A broken pencil who?
Never mind, it’s pointless!

What do lawyers wear to court?
lawsuits.

“Why don’t elephants use computers?”
“Because they’re afraid of the mouse!”

A sloth walks into a bar, waves to get the bartenders attention, and says,
“I’ll have a….club soda.”
The bartender says, “Hey, why the long paws?”

Q: Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
A: He was stuck to the chicken’s foot.

Q: What did the daddy tomato say to the baby tomato?
A: Ketchup

Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was amazing in his field!

What do you call a green rock that was thrown in a red sea?
a wet rock.

Two silk worms challenged each other to a race.
It ended in a tie.